The Grady Chronicles

List of Advent Activities

2011-11-22T11:33:00.013-05:00

Countdown until I go back to work......6 days. Boooooo.
Countdown until we start our daily advent activities........9 days. YAY!

See below

I am so excited about using our advent calendar to stick little notes in for each day giving us some kind of Christmas activity to do together to savor the season. I have built up in my head this magical, perfect beginning family tradition and I realize that, hey, I have a two year old with the attention span of a sesame seed at times.....expectations are recalculated to low.........BUT this could just be the start of something great! I developed a list of activities and then realized that Tommy isn't going to know what the words mean so I thought up a GENIUS idea to picture cards for each day instead. I googled images and clip arted to my hearts content. I would love to share all of the pics here, but I did not save links to all pictures to give credit, so, I will share my ideas and some links and you can google your own pictures. I will include a Christmasy picture of mine so you can pin the post if you like.

Attend the Family Christmas Party (times 2 for 2 family parties)
Bake reindeer Christmas cookies (PB or sugar cookies with M&M eyes, chocolate pretzel antlers, gumdrop nose)
Watch Charlie Brown Christmas
Bake Christmas tree cookies for the neighbors
Ride The North Pole Express Train
Meet Santa Claus
Write a letter to Santa Claus
Read The Night Before Christmas
Drive around to see Christmas lights
Do a Christmas craft to give someone as a present
Drink hot chocolate and watch a Christmas movie (changed to sippy cup friendly chocolate milk)
Make a gingerbread house
Open your special ornament and put it on the tree
Attend a Christmas tree lighting
Play a new game
Play in the snow
Visit NYC and the big Christmas tree
Make paper chain garland
Decorate gingerbread men
Holly Leaves Craft
Picnic dinner in front of the Christmas tree
Make Christmas Cards
Bright Nights
Help wrap presents for your teachers
Family dinner at Friendly’s
Watch Frosty or Rudolph
Turn the fridge into a snowman

BE PREPARED. I made a list where I tried to think of everything we might need to complete each of these activities without having to distract an eager toddler while his father runs to the corner store to get scotch tape so we can tape our snowman parts to the refrigerator. Try to think through each activity you plan and how you will complete each activity so you don't forget things.....example....North Pole Express train. We have the tickets, but I need to write down to purchase Christmas pajamas so that when the day comes and we are putting coats on to go to the car I don't have a last minute, "Oh (insert expletive toddler to reapeat 50 times here)! We don't have proper attire!"

I also brainstormed extra activities so if something bombs or doesn't pan out for the day I planned I have other go to options. Next year I hope to include more Jesus centered activities, but he is so not ready for that yet. Iam on the hunt for a very basic birth of Jesus story. Any suggestions?

Five Plus Years in Pictures

2011-10-26T15:11:00.000-04:00

I have been trying to write this post for almost a week. Nap time in these parts is too fast and bed time? Ha! Bedtime for both of these children isn't until around 9pm and I follow as soon as possible after them. I dreamed about writing a sappy, lovey dovey don't you hate me because I have the best husband post, but this year, it. just. is. not. happening. So, here is a quick, but loving, look back.

2003- Our first picture. It was spring of our senior years of college in CT. We met because my college rental home was on the same street as one of his friend's rental homes. We were coming home from the bar at the same time they were walking by our house. We were inseparable from that point on!

A summer concert. Our biggest decisions in 2003 were based on liquor or beer????? And our biggest problem? Those awful sunglasses!

Christmastime 2004

Party family cruise 2005. Everyone thought Tom was going to propose on this cruise. Every night at dinner our family and friends would look at our table awkwardly, but joke was on them! It happened just a month or two later.

2006- the year of the Union

2007- in our own backyard as we became homeowners

2008- the last St. Pat's Day before parenthood. Got prego just a few months afterward.

2009- Welcome TJ

2010 - First vacation as a family. Nags Head, NC

2011 - Welcome Aly!


October 21, 2011 - Fifth Anniversary

We marked the occasion with a day for just us. It started with a bike ride in the park where we had our wedding pictures taken. We then enjoyed a sit down lunch where we didn't have to take turns bouncing a fussy four month old or threaten time outs! We shopped for Halloween costumes and a new car (it could happen!!). We went to......HAPPY HOUR and then enjoyed a yummy Oktoberfest dinner.

I could have spent hours on this post if I had time......but really.....it all boils down to I am the luckiest girl in the world!

Comic Relief

2011-10-19T22:34:00.001-04:00

Today was one of those day from hell swear you are the worst parent and ruining your kids kind of days. But by the grace of God Tommy offered much needed comic relief.

The poor babe woke up with a killer rash. To sympathize and provide some comfort I let him go diaperless for some time. Some time turned into a lot of time and I forgot all about the lack of diaper. I was not reminded until I was in the middle of cleaning up a MAJOR Alyssa diaper disaster and Tommy walked over and casually said, "There is poop on the floor." I asked him who pooped and he told me he pooped on the floor, "and Grady ate the poop." Now we are totally into a phase of fibs. I asked Tommy to show me where and there was a slight stain of evidence that his story proved true!

So What if Christmas is Still 2 Months Away?!:!

2011-10-18T16:38:00.000-04:00

I am always early. Always. Halloween still two weeks away? We've been ready for at least 3 weeks now. Tommy takes after me. For example, he was born 2 weeks early. And more recently, he gave Tom and I an early Christmas present......he pulled our laptop off of the TV stand and killed it. I digress.

This morning Tommy had school which means the only 3 hours a week I have to get things done sans toddler. I could clean my house. I could spend quiet playtime with Alyssa. I could prepare a fabulous dinner. But what has been occupying my mind has been Christmas cards and outfits. It is the middle of October and Alyssa already has 2 Christmas dresses with matching cardigans, a Christmas dress coat, headband, tights, tutu..... Tommy has a nice sweater and button down shirt. I am still on the hunt for black pants for Tommy, dress shoes for Tommy, a Santa hat for Tommy, and Christmas PJ's for both kids. I know I am insane, but after the newborn photographer screwover of summer 2011 (long story short, received about 40 pictures of Alyssa....a couple of which I LOVE.....but most were lots of the same and it was all so rushed for the price and we were supposed to have a whole other shoot including Tommy and the photog kept cancelling or not being available because dumbass me paid in full in good faith. Plus she left one of her lens here so I thought HAH I've got her....she'll be back for that.....ummm not so much. Anyone need a Nikon lens?!?!?!?!) I refuse to pay a 'professional' to take pictures of my kids. We bought an expensive camera and will instead do it ourselves.......and by ourselves I mean me.....and probably my sister. So now the race is on. 2 months will fly by and of course I don't have 2 months to get the picture done since they will have to be submitted to Shutterfly or whereever I order them from in enough time to have them sent back to me, stuffed, addressed, and mailed to all our beloved friends and family in time for Christmas (or early December so they can savor and enjoy the card I've obsessed over for weeks that they most likely take a glance at and toss throughout the New Year)!

A Picture Tells a Story....Just Not Necessarily the one you Expected!

2011-10-17T09:40:00.001-04:00

Sweet, right? What you don't know is I'm screaming in the background, "YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH THE SWING!" as he pushes with all his might. The smile he exhibits is the resulting satisfaction of making me crazy. the end.

School

2011-10-04T14:03:00.001-04:00

It was fire safety week at school. Yes that is Tommys face on the fire man!

Where I ask for your Charity

2011-10-01T21:15:00.001-04:00

Alyssa and I are walking in two weeks for Light the Night to Support a young girl with a terrible illness and to raise money for leukemia and lymphoma. Believe me, I know times are rough, but even just $ 5 would make a difference and it is so easy to do if you click on the link below. Make a difference hereThank you!

Tutu

2011-09-28T14:14:00.001-04:00

I've been studying no sew tutus for part of Aly's Halloween costume. Overall easywith the help of my mom once you let go of compulsively trying to cut the tulle perfectly. It didn't really matter in the end anyway.

How PINteresting!

2011-09-27T15:28:00.003-04:00

I've seen all of the Twitter, FB, and blog posts shouting out to the world how fabulous Pinterest is. I didn't know what it meant. I didn't have time to find out. I didn't care to become addicted to yet another form of social media.

I have a house to straighten up!

I have kids to feed!

A highly active toddler who seriously needs to be supervised every nanosecond of the day!

An infant who pees in her diaper on average 3x an hour and demands a new one each time.

There is a DVR to catch up on!

(Oh yes I do!!!!)

Buuut then a friend sent me a personal invitation. And I had a few minutes to spare. And I figured out how absolutely awesome it is in a matter of seconds. There I was- pinning away food ideas and future birthday party ideas and oh yea I am in. love. with. Pinterest.

And inspiration has been born! I am planning on making Alyssa her very first Halloween costume. So far I spent about $3.00 and I don't intend on spending much more to complete it. As opposed to spending around $40. And without depriving either of us any difference in cuteness between store bought and homemade. Can you smell my excitement? Have I mentioned I have NEVER made anything homemade??? Have I mentioned that I spent well over an hour in Joann Fabric deciding on two very specific items needed for the first part of this project?

Have I mentioned that there is a baby? In a swing? Who is not interested in napping even though her brother finally is?

Checking in

2011-09-24T12:10:00.001-04:00

It's been so long and I feel so disconnected from my blog while still connected to several of my blog friends' blogs. The summer zoomed by and it is officially fall and I am officially a Stay at Home Mom for two more months. While it has proven to be the hardest job ever, being home with my babies is by far the BEST job. And by hardest job ever I mean many many days it is a miracle I have not pulled out every. single. one. of. the. hairs. on. my. head. Toddlers. Oh toddlers. Oh my toddler. Tommy is busy as a bee, smart as a whip, and demanding as a dictator. With the advancement of his speech I am continually amazed at the thoughts and STRONG opinions that he shares. I am also horrified by the prospect of him now having memories and repeating things we say to others. Something we need to get better at remembering before opening our mouths so much around here...... He wants to play upstairs. He wants to bring the three ~~Victoria's Secret Pink dolls~~ puppy toys upstairs, too. He doesn't want grilled cheese, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, pizza, or anything I offer for lunch, but would instead prefer a Popsicle or......cake.

Tommy started school. He is going once a week. He has gone 3 times and has two teachers. So far he has come home with a teacher assisted blue dog collage craft and a scholastic book order (yes I did immediately go to town on that). He comes home with the most adorable note that lets me know what he learned and what he participated in. So far, so good for me.....except that he has fought me about going each week. My sister assures me that this has to do with his resistance for structure and not being about to tear around the place and do whatever he wants ~~like at home~~.

Cue in behavior. My sweet sweet boy is SUCH A LOVE. He gives the best hugs and kisses, he snuggles, he melts my heart several times a day. But he is two. And I swear to you he is no ordinary two year old. He is super strong willed, not distractable........and he NEVER forgets. If he is unsatisfied with us he will let us know it. We've tried creating boundaries for him. We've tried patience, we've tried hardball, we've tried consistency, we've tried time outs in various form, we've tried bribery.......I love him so much and hope that we somehow figure out how to positively curtail his desire, strong will, and determination towards getting everything he wants in life.

And my little Alyssa? Baby is a dream! 3 months old already and wearing 3-6 months. 14ish lbs. Hitting and surpassing all the milestones- cooing, smiling, laughing, rolling, head control. I pray she continues to thrive in this fashion and that the guilt I feel in not doing things with as much detail for her as I did with Tommy and continue to do with Tommy will not be the topic of future therapy sessions. My biggest challenge is keeping her busy. She is typically content but when she fusses I swear she is telling me she is bored. Bored. At three months old. Oh, and the fun? The fun of dressing a little girl.....oh the fun. I live vicariously through her style and wardrobe. For reals.

I am attached. I am so attached. Yesterday Tommy left with my mom for the weekend and as much as I needed the break (see hair pulling out of head comment above) I do admit I cried after he left. Like, a lot. And I suspect that when we drop Alyssa at my in law's today to enjoy an adults only evening I will do the same. I worry about this attachment and how I will satisfy my need to be involved and present with my children when I head back to work full time after Thanksgiving.

This is just a snippit. A snippit that in no way captures the glory of our lives and the amazing summer that we had. A snippit that barely highlights the growth of our family and my littlest gumbette. My children have become my everything and when I think of our family I hope it is not yet complete, but that is another post for another day!!!!! Hopefully not a day three more months from now. I miss my blog!!

The three of us

2011-07-14T16:10:00.001-04:00

Me and my kids

Two week well visit

2011-07-07T07:39:00.001-04:00

Alyssa was 8.11 at birth and 8.2 at discharge two days later. At three days old she was 8.4 and ay four days she was 8.6. Yesterday was her 2 week appointment which was actually day 17 because of the holiday weekend. She weighed in at the 96th percentile.....10.6 ! Length was same percentile.....went from 21 inches at birth to 22 1/4 inches at day seventeen. She is growing much bigger and much faster than Tommy did.

Happy 4th!

2011-07-04T14:18:00.001-04:00

Holy Cannoli!

2011-07-02T15:48:00.001-04:00

Ummm after inspecting caller id....take a look at the time the doctor returned my call on the morning of Alyssa's birth.....she was born at 7: 35and it takes lilt fifteen minutes to get there plus it was probably five to ten minutes until we left after that call. I seriously got to the hospital with like ten to fifteen minutes to spare before she came! I think I am still in shock! Tomorrow is two weeks old.....what!?

Alyssa's 'Birth' Day

2011-06-28T13:14:00.000-04:00

Dear Alyssa,

Wow! How could you possibly be over a week old already? 9 days to be exact. As you know from mommy's previous entries, we waited and waited and waited for your arrival. You have already made it clear that besides your identical to Tommy precious newborn face with the upturned button nose, round chin, and the pinchable cheeks, you are your own little lady.

It was June 19....FATHER'S DAY, two days after your 'due' date and approximately three weeks after the due date Mommy assumed would be yours. I woke up around 3 am just because when you are waiting for a baby and wondering about a baby you tend to not be able to sleep like a baby at night. I had had a dream about delivering you, but other than that there was nothing unusual about the night.

Around 4am I started to feel very very minimal contractions. They felt like the false labor contractions I had had weeks before......like nothing.....a nothing that if they continued consistently and started to get painful could become something. Just as soon as I turned to your father and said today might be the day, the 'contractions' stopped coming and when your father asked if we should cancel the family Father's Day bbq we had planned I said no.

Around 5ish am your brother Tommy came into our room....another non-unusual morning event at the time. He got into the bed and laid next to me and daddy and we snuggled and were a family of three for the last time though we still didn't know it, but I have to admit I did soak in the moment and looked at Tommy a little longer and hugged him a little harder and talked to him a little more while he went back to sleep.

At 6am 'ish' I felt very sudden and very strong contractions, but I still was not convinced they were contractions. Contractions were supposed to be timed. Contractions were supposed to progress......like over the course of a whole day, or something. These could not be contractions- they could only be indications that something was wrong. A trip to the bathroom confirmed there was blood where I didn't think there should be (turns out, what do I know, when you are having a baby there is tons of blood....duh) so I put in a call to the doctor's answering service. Daddy started to get ready to leave the house including taking a shower while I felt like death was seriously seriously upon me and I swooped into the guest room where Auntie Karen was sleeping and woke her with moans and swears and cries and then proceeded to collapse into her bed and ask her to help me get dressed for the hospital.....because when you think you are going to die you want to at least be in something you might wear around the house during the day. I had already somehow applied some make-up on my own after scaring the ever loving jokester out of your Uncle Mike by telling him I could be in labor or dieing (he was sleeping on the couch that night.) Auntie was timing my 'contractions' and they were 3 minutes apart which if I hadn't been in somuchpainIthoughtIwasdieing I would have realized meant this baby is coming and she means business. When the doctor called back I cried into the phone and could barely talk and mentioned that oh yea there was blood and three minutes and she recommended we get the the hospital like we were considering any other action at that point. Saying good-bye to Tommy was harder than I thought it would be. I was scared.

Oh my, Alyssa, the ride to the hospital. It was like something out of an action movie. Daddy went fast and with every pot hole he hit I thought you might enter into the world. For. Reals. There was one point on the ride to the hospital where I thought you were coming and another point on the wheelchair ride from the ER to the labor and delivery floor. We got to labor and delivery around 7am where they managed to have me sign some papers even though I could barely stand and then they wheeled me into a room and helped me into a gown. They took one look and the nurses then looked at each other and I swear their expressions could only be described as horrified. I screamed for an epidural and they then told me what I did. not. want. to. hear. I was fully dilated and they could already see you were ready to be delivered. No epidural. No doctor....well there was a house doctor, but there was not enough time for Mommy's doctor to get to the hospital. There was barely enough time to get an IV into me- I was so sweaty from all the pain it took great efforts to accomplish that. With maybe 2 reluctant pushes and lots of screaming and crying by your mommy you were born at 7:35am. You cried and cried and cried and just after you were born Mommy's doctor showed up to finish the rest of the labor. One thing about not being on the epidural (besides the gut wrenching pain) was that I really saw you when you were first delivered. I was sitting up and you were handed to me right away and I got to watch your face change second to second from a squished through the birth canal face to a beautiful, perfect, Gerber baby face.

The first few nights were difficult. But our second night home it all clicked into place for you. You've gotten into a fabulous eat, sleep, eat, sleep routine and I hope I'm not jinxing it, but even without the lethargy from jaundice that your brother had you seem to still be an easy going baby. We are so blessed. We love you and your brother so so so much.

Love,
Mommy

Perfection

2011-06-24T11:57:00.001-04:00

So in love with this angel!

Alyssa Marie

2011-06-21T08:36:00.001-04:00

June 19
8lb 11 oz of perfection
Wait until you hear the story of her crazy ass arrival!

Booooo

2011-06-16T19:13:00.000-04:00

UPDATE:

Doctor from last week is a huge liar face. Last week she said she would induce me right after due date since I had a big baby 2 weeks early last time. Today she said she would see me in a week for a non stress test and an ultrasound and oh yea............a week from now is Thursday and they won't induce Friday-Sunday because God forbid when you are getting paid a zillion dollars with the downside of being on call that you actually schedule yourself to do something during those on call weekend hours. Oh AND they apparently have NO available dates for induction at the hospital so they need to "get back to me" about that and since they won't induce over the weekend and they won't induce before I am a week late then that brings me to a week from the coming Monday which is getting closer to that 2 weeks late mark. My one question I was able to mutter without completely bursting into tears, "Will she still fit (while pointing .....down there) ???" The doctor said yes, but since I've deemed her a huge liar face (see sentence one) I don't think I believe her.

Dear You,

2011-06-16T10:30:00.000-04:00

It is the day before your 'due' date. I never thought we would make it this long without meeting you in person. I'm ready to call you by your name (and so is everyone else- it is still a secret as far as I know). Your big brother is even starting to ask when you are coming. Grammy stayed an extra day to accompany me to my 40 week doctor's appointment and find out the story of when you will be evicted from my belly where you are apparently WAY more comfortable than your brother was! It is 10:30 in the morning and Grammy has already cleaned and organized the house for you and all of your new towels, bibs, toys, etc. At 2:15 we will go to the doctor and I will beg them to induce me tomorrow morning since it is Friday and I don't think they induce over a weekend and PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME WAIT UNTIL MONDAY!!! I can't wait to smell your new baby smell and feel your skin so soft new baby skin. There is a closet full of adorable pinkness awaiting you and headbands and ruffles and the Boppy now sits with baby pink pillowcase and white polka dots.

Hopefully, see you soon.....like in less than 72 hours.

Love, Mommy

A Change of Plans

2011-06-08T19:51:00.000-04:00

In my last post I mentioned how I was doing everything and anything I could to induce my own labor over the weekend. Not all techniques were described, but believe me- everything was tried. Sunday night the pain began. I thought I was in labor. But it wasn't coming and going. Annnnd I couldn't walk. I couldn't lay down. I could barely sit. I could not move without sending shooting pain through my lower back, hips, and pelvis. A call to the doctor confirmed that my hips/pelvis started to prematurely loosen for delivery and that time spent on my feet would continue to inflame and aggravate this painful condition. I went to see the doctor the next day to check up on the 'situation' and received a doctor's note to begin my medical leave immediately. Also disclosed was that I am now 3 cm and 50% effaced so there is progress but I will not be satisfied at this point until I am holding my little bundle and working on eliminating this baby belly of discomfort. I am not sure what this earlier than anticipated leave will mean for my return to work, but I'm hopeful that I will still be able to remain home with my family until after the Thanksgiving weekend.

Luckily my parents have been here helping me by taking care of Tommy so that I can rest, but even with the pain the fact that I am sitting around doing nothing while there is a classroom full of kids with a surprise substitute for the end of the year makes me feel so guilty. Yesterday, though, something happened that made it ALL worth it. We went to the park and as I sat shaded in a very nice gazebo and my parents chased Tommy around a mom's group with children right around Tommy's age showed up. Tommy immediately began to parallel play with the kids. They took turns on the slides and then were running around the park meadows together. My dad began a game of Simon Says with the kids and all but Tommy were familiar with that game. Let me tell you the joy in my heart to see my boy join this game with the other kids, catch on very quickly, literally laugh out loud, no, SQUEAL in delight, and start shouting out ideas for Simon commands. The children played Simon Says for what felt like forever. Then they did ring around the rosie- all holding hands and falling down. They ran some more together. It was such a special moment that I hope is forever burned into my memory. Something I never get to see- Tommy with other little ones- and the last piece of my worry about his development diminished. I am now viewing the remainder of his time with early intervention as more of an enrichment program than a close the gaps program.

The Waiting Game Could Prove to be the Crying Game

2011-06-04T17:35:00.000-04:00

Each pregnancy is different, they said. And these two pregnancies of mine have in fact been different from the very beginning. But one similarity I couldn't help but count on and depend on- an early delivery. Second baby = most likely earlier than first baby who was 16 days early to begin with...........I've been expecting to go into labor for oh, about a little over a week. Then, when 16 days early came on Tuesday night into Wednesday, I expected it to happen. And now here I sit perplexed and worried that this time, this time I could actually wait and wait and wait until they finally give the go ahead to induce at 41 weeks.......three more weeks of discomfort. Three more weeks of multiple bathroom trips per hour overnight. Three more weeks of carrying around extra weight that gets heavier by the day. I could very well end up attempting to deliver that 10+ lb monster they warned me of creating after delivering the 8 lb gumba SIXTEEN DAYS EARLY. This morning I was sure it was happening. The contractions started. There were a few in a row. They were uncomfortable. Then they went away. I frantically paced in the living room for what felt like a long time as Tommy paced with his Mater mower, Tom worked his once in a forever Saturday morning, and Grady dopily followed me around and, of course, barked. That DAMN dog- how was he ever so adored and spoiled? BIG MISTAKE.
I've started wrapping things up at school- just in case. Cleared student work off the walls and the bulletin boards. Finished report cards. Completed an end of the year evaluation. Put together emergency sub plans and made organized piles, then showed my co-teachers where to find things. One more task still looms and that is that I'm supposed to have an observation Monday morning with the principal- a chaotic time of year to plan anything with field days, trips, assemblies, our class play practices and performance........so when I scheduled this date almost three weeks ago I never thought I would still be working when the time came. Not that it matters. If anything, it would be good to have in my file. It's just another "HA YOU ARE STILL PREGNANT!" in my face. All of this and I could potentially make it to the end of the school year.....3 more weeks.

I've tried eggplant. I've tried walking. I've tried licorice (well, red Twizzlers which I don't think are really licorice, but still). Spicy food. I've started packing the hospital bag with that James Earl Jones Field of Dreams voice in my head, "If you pack it, she will come." It just seems that this little angel of ours has her own plan and I know that once she decides to arrive (oh please let it be soon) or is evicted (have I mentioned three more weeks gahhhhhhhh???) she will be well worth the wait!

Three Months Later.....

2011-05-20T21:33:00.000-04:00

And I am a ticking time bomb! So pregnant, though only 'technically' 36 weeks I feel like I could go at any time now....I'm so uncomfortable that I'm hoping to go at any time now. And I'm so tired that I'm almost hoping to go like last time where the water breaks and it takes them like 8 hours to get the labor going......time enough for a nice, long nap in the hospital before we are thrust back into the world of parents with newborn. Only this time, of course, will be different, because we are currently parents to a dysfunctionally sleeping toddler. I feel guiltly that I haven't updated in three months and I choose to start out by complaining about my son and his irregular sleep habits. You see, he used to be a perfect sleeper. He used to sleep all night and even sleep in. I used to have to wake him up to get him to the baby-sitter's house or my in-law's house. But the past few months it all changed.

I guess it started when we had to move him to a big boy bed at such a young age. Though he was 'big' in size and about 22 months old he wasn't that far along developmentally and he was literally throwing himself out of the crib. It happened twice and me being the complete control freak accident preventer that I am I demanded the big boy room with the big boy bed. Because he was still so 'young' we would sit with him while he lay in the big boy bed to make sure he went to sleep because me being the complete control freak accident preventer that I am I didn't want him getting out of bed and say sticking his fingers into an electric outlet or breaking a toy in a way that created what would resemble a machete perfect for piercing God knows what on my precious boy's body before I could arrive in the room and get him back into bed. So we'd sit with him, he'd fall asleep and that was that until he started EXPECTING us to sit with him and, oh yea, STAY THERE ALL NIGHT. All of a sudden my super sleeper became a light ass sleeper........the effort to sneak out of his room at first thought of his possible slumber and you hear him sit up, you mutter some expletives to yourself and sit back on the uncomfortable wood floor. There is negotiating about turning the radio on for him (he declined the classical music cd I first put on and wanted the actual radio stations....classic rock....he may be 2 but the boy has a preference and don't even get me started about sleeping with music playing in the background and my issue with that) Then you finally do successfully sneak out but the problem has molded into one where he stirs several times over night and when he stirs he notices you are gone and he jumps out of bed and runs to our room in a flash and then you get to sit next to his bed and beg the merciful Lord for him to go to sleep all over again. This cycle has been repeating 3-5 times a night for months and so we are living like zombies before the newborn is even here.

And so in happier news, I am currently 1-2 cm dilated and the baby's head is 'low.' I know it can stay this way for weeks, but I'm feeling mini contractions and it just feels like this baby will be here soon- well before the June 17 date. Unlike my pregnancy with Tommy I feel this baby moving A LOT. I feel limbs and I SEE the movement and pokes just looking down at my belly. It is AMAZING.....worth all the morning sickness I had with this one that I didn't have with Tommy. We have been given tons of clothes for her that need to be washed and yes we do have a name, but it is top secret until she is born. All of the old baby stuff has been brought down from the attic and other random locations but they all need cleaning and for seat covers to be removed and washed and put back together. I also took the old breast pump out and discovered some unwelcome mold in the tubing. I ordered a new set and then made a slightly psycho call to the breastfeeding doctor's office in town about whether or not to replace other parts of the pump and a minnnnor meltdown about fears about not building an ample milk supply to which I was told that no, it was not necessary to replace any other pump parts and that I truly should have the baby and establish a latch before I start to panic about a supply. I haven't had any talking to's about weight gain in a few weeks, my bp is good and I'm measuring just 'a little ahead' which the doctor assured me should release the giant baby fears I was having because of all the giant baby talks for my first pregnancy (and hello....he was 8 lbs at 16 days EARLY).

Tommy is developing at light speeds these days. It is amazing that just this fall he had one word. That was it. He wasn't pointing. He was scaring the ever living everything out of me (I know, I know....he will do this many more times for the rest of my life). Since we opened our doors to early intervention teachers Tommy has progressed in a way that melts me. He is truly a little person now, with ideas, interests, personality........and quite frankly, brilliance. The child is SMART!!!!!!!! He knows all of his colors, is counting, starting to sing songs, speaking well over 50 words and beginning sentences, he is ASKING QUESTIONS, following crazy multi-step directions (put your nose on the picture of the banana and then bring the picture to mommy), jigsaw puzzles.......he is doing so much and as much as I am so thankful to his teachers I now feel confident that he had it in him all along but just needed a little extra time to start showing it all off. He loves to play outside and take rides in all of our cars. He loves cars in general........he goes through all of his matchbox cars and stares intently at each one until he announces, "Where is the brown van???" That's right. He will recognize the one car that is missing and we all will go on a mad hunt trying to find it because HE WILL NOT FORGET ABOUT IT even if he lets it go for a little while we will be asked again later or the next day. He tortures the dog by stealing his toys and putting them out of reach for Grady. He has been spending time in time out and as soon as he comes out he will go back to the bad behavior that got him there.........totally testing his limits.........totally behaving like an ever loving right where he should be two year old and I am so thankful and proud and in love.

Easter Stash

2011-04-24T08:21:00.001-04:00

Watch "Bath fun 2/2011" on YouTube

2011-02-26T20:05:00.001-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtube_gdata_player&v=sytXzMBLGfA

Fetal Ecco

2011-02-09T19:32:00.000-05:00

Today we had a fetal ecchocardiogram. Because Tommy was born with a congenital heart defect, pulmonary valve stenosis, we were eligible for one. Basically it is an ultrasound performed by a pediatric cardiologist to examine the heart more closely than the level 2 ultrasound tech/doctor. I am ecstatic to report that as far as the doctor could tell, our baby girl's heart looks a-ok. Of course there is no 100% guarantee, but I'll take a looks good for now any day!

Two!

2011-02-07T06:00:00.005-05:00

Dear Tommy,

      Today you are turning two years old. Daddy and I are so proud of you and all of your accomplishments over the last two years. Though it seems like yesterday you were still in my belly, it also feels like my life never existed without you in it.
     There are so many words that we can use to describe you. Let's just say that two years ago you SHOCKED us by arriving 16 days early and you have been living up to that momentum since. Everything you do is amazing- everything. On New Year's Eve this year we had our own little Rockin' Party- just me, you, and Daddy. We were all exhausted from moving you out of the nursery into your new big boy room. We wanted it to be just perfect....and if we thought there may have been a detail or two left unturned....well, you certainly did not think so. You were so proud! You were so thrilled. You pointed to the border and at each and every 'car' and 'tow truck.' That night we anticipated it would be a long one.....naturally as a child so young gets put into a bed for the first time in a new room. But not our Tommy. You were and continue to be a trooper. You love your bed and that first night you slept there for us all night and even went down at a reasonable time so Mommy and Daddy could enjoy a little of the remainder of '10 alone before passing out by 12:01 am. You still love to play in your room and will often ask 'Night, night' from downstairs which we quickly discovered meant that you wanted to play in your room and not exactly go to bed.
     You've learned so many new words- well over 50 now. Some of your favorites are 'Help!' 'Oh no!' 'star' 'snow plow' (and boy- have we seen plenty of those this year. Mommy is working on snow day # 7 already!) and of course you've started to say the names of all of your loved ones and even yourself! Some other words that have quickly become part of your vocabulary are potty, pee pee, and poop. You picked out quite the potty book at the store this week and have been interested in reading it, but not so much in actually sitting on your potty. And that is OK little man, I know you will do it when you are ready! We point out people and faces that are happy and sad now, too. You love to climb on everything and you love figuring out new puzzles and activities. You've mastered play-dough and coloring circular patterns. You've even started holding scissors and cutting with some help. You are learning to count and you love to pretend to talk on the phone. Yo Gabba Gabba is still your pre-bed favorite show, but you are also really into Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
     This year your party is a construction trucks theme. There is a card we gave daddy back in June for Father's Day that had Tonka construction trucks and we never threw it away because you consistently ask to read it and look at those trucks. So we knew that this year, this year was going to be all about the dump truck. Of course Tonka discontinued their themed birthday supplies and it must have been quite some time ago since I couldn't even find any leftovers on eBay, but I did find another brand that I think you will enjoy just the same.
     Oh Tommy, when we ask you if you know where the baby is sometimes you point to mommy's belly, but sometimes you point to yourself. And you know something- even when your baby sister gets here.....and even when you are a grizzly grown-up........you will always be my baby. I love you love you love you love you. I am so proud that you are my son.

Happy 2nd Birthday!

Love,
Mommy

The Baby Chronicles.....Part 2

2011-02-01T22:02:00.000-05:00

****Written October 11, 2010 Just found this in the 'drafts' and thought it was safe to publish now.

I need start this post by laughing AT myself. Please join in.....hahahahahah woooo hahahahahahah.

Now that that is out of the way......I'm pregnant. I'M PREGNANT! Me, who was convinced that nothing good was coming our way, that something was oh so wrong with me. Me, who bought an ovulation kit back in July but decided not to use it and tried to just 'let it happen' and then was crushed when it didn't. Me, who had unused ovulation kit now in use awaiting those two pink lines giving us the signal to get busy in August but then was told I should wait due to a lump I found on my breast and a doctor thinking I might need an MRI. Do you know THE TORTURE of seeing those two pink lines and not being able to 'make it happen' because instead you are going to a breast specialist for an all clear on the cancer front????? Turned out that insurance wouldn't even cover an MRI for me and the specialist thinks everything feels fine and gave me the go ahead for pregnancy. Fast forward through ovulation kit # 2 and the panic I put myself through when......I WAS NOT OVULATING. Me, blessed with the predictable period pretty much down to the hour..........all of a sudden, not ovulating at two weeks. Me, convinced I screwed myself up with all of my stress and anxiety and negativity. Lo and behold, week 3....two pink lines and ovulating. And is it ever that easy with me? Nope. Aforementioned stress, anxiety, and negativity lead to ONE attempt during ovulation followed by two weeks of irrational pregnancy testing and kicking self for not taking full advantage of the 24-36 hours we had to work with. Me, throwing in the towel for the month, purchasing ovulation kit # 3 (ahem, if you didn't know they are just over $30 each), deciding to enjoy the next couple weeks until hopefully we could try all over again as I kicked off my feet and enjoyed LOTS of blue cheese with my wings on football days and hot dogs and bratwurst and of course.......some beers along the way. And tonight.....Columbus Day......after Tom took off for a week of training in New Jersey and Tommy and I went up to start our evening bath routine and I had a thought of.......my period should have come Thursday or Friday...........I know I shouldn't waste another pregnancy test............I really shouldn't...........oh wait there I go opening another one with zero control and low and behold TWO PINK LINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, not so fast. First there was the dreaded one line......and then an ever so light little second line appeared as Tommy was throwing the jammies I picked out for him into the full tub followed by the bathroom rug.

No one knows. Right now. I'm contemplating letting mom in on the secret when she arrives tonight only because I think I will explode if I have to wait until Friday night when Tom gets home to share the news with someone. This time I will share the news in person with Tom. With Tommy, I ever so classily told him over the phone I was so excited...... this time I want it to be a little more.....ummmm intimate.

Onto the next problemo..........because with me............there is always something. I threw out the planner schedule I had with all of my appointments on them because I transferred everything to my google calendar when I got the Droid.......well almost everything. I didn't transfer the record of when my last period was. So here I am trying to remember the first day of my last period which I think may have been September 10, but I am not sure!!!!!!!!!!!1 What kind of an idiot doesn't have the answer to the most important question the obgyn is going to ask me when I go for my first preggo appointment?!?!?!?! Well, September 10 gives me around a June 17 due date, but if I go by my late ovulation in the cycle which was October 1 then my due date is June 24. It will be interesting to see what the doctors come up with.

Annnnnnnnnnnd pregnant. x2

Potty

2011-01-29T11:30:00.001-05:00

He has zero interest in the real deal......but the book is FABULOUS in his opinion.

Pink!

2011-01-18T17:40:00.001-05:00

It's official. We are expecting a girl this June. To say we are thrilled is a cliche and so understated anyway! Tommys response to the all important, "do you want a little sister?" "NO!"

Stroller

2011-01-13T13:02:00.001-05:00

Favorite double strollers please?? We have the chicco infant seat too....not sure if that can be used in other strollers...... Feel free to enlighten me.

Snow Day!

2011-01-12T13:58:00.001-05:00

Electric

2011-01-07T02:58:00.001-05:00

Can't sleep. Baby up. Husband kicked my nightstand while looking for childs dolly bear and knocked glass of water all over surge protector. Panicking about electrical fire possibility as husband spends last 2 hours trying to get tommy back to sleep. Also, video monitor is fried as an added bonus....gonna throw up. Please Lord a snow day might be nice. Also, a new video monitor.....so glad my tutoring job this week will pay for half of that purchase instead of the planned getting ahead on babysitter mondays money. Worst night ever.

Big boy room

2011-01-01T11:03:00.001-05:00

Tommys santa presents

2010-12-25T09:51:00.001-05:00

Like a child who knows all about christmas tommy had us up an 5am.We held him off until 5:30 but then caved and brought him downstairs where to his surprise there were presents! Unlike typical child on christmas tommy took his sweet time opening gifts over the course of about 3 hours playing with each for record time before moving onto another present.

Snow

2010-11-27T20:28:00.001-05:00

As in...his new word.....not outside.....yet.

Oh Google, you Devil

2010-11-23T19:37:00.002-05:00

Further googling of the previously mentioned positive antibody post has lead to the discovery that there are in fact many types of scary antibody possibilities.

Antibodies

2010-11-23T19:30:00.000-05:00

Two weeks ago from yesterday I had my first round of pregnant blood work. The one where they collect no less than 12 viles of blood. Today I got a call from the nurse that wouldn't say much but said that I tested positive for antibodies......a weak one so that they can't even tell what it is. The gist of the conversation that I could understand was that I have developed a subtype of blood. Upon doing further research against my own better judgment online it seems that some of my blood type may have mixed with the baby's blood. This can cause rhesus disease.......which can cause jaundice/anemia in the baby at birth. More serious, but rare seems to be the need for an intrauterine blood transfusion. They will test my blood again in four weeks and at that time the apparent antibody may be gone or they may be able to identify it. Anyone have this 'problem' or know someone this happened to? I'm hoping that I will just feel better on Monday when I have my ultrasound and see this precious new life.

DCL 2012

2010-11-23T03:28:00.000-05:00

Today we decided we would treat ourselves. With all of the talk of should we sell/shouldn't we sell, will our house be big enough, what will we do about the schools...........well, we decided to take a Disney Cruise in June 2012 on the new Disney Fantasy ship set to first sail that April. Probably not the most economical decision, but we work hard and we deserve to play nice. I am SO excited that my aunt presented the idea and we've already got a nice little family group who are planning on going. Now I just need to recruit a family with kids so I have someone to sit with at the family pool with Tom and I :)

It is hard to imagine how different our lives will be a year and a half from now. Before this cruise I will live through 2 more trimesters, child birth, the first year of the new baby's life, the remainder of this school year, another whole school year......Tommy will be 3 and a half almost and I think that will be perfect. He is going to die when he sees Mickey Mouse in person. I also think he will love the kiddie pool and splash zones. Hopefully, he will be old enough to appreciate the awesome Broadway style Disney shows they have each night. I also checked out the kid zones (yes, it is basically day care on vacation........) and it seriously looks like so much fun I would want to go there with him. It will be interesting doing this kind of a trip with a one year old.....Nags Head was the perfect vacation with Tommy as a one year old and even though we could have the luxury of putting him down for a nap and then going out back to our own pool it was still hard travel.....so a cruise where we'll have to be in the room by bedtime and stay there with our hopefully sleeping children will be interesting but we'll never know if we don't go right?

Tommy has bronchitis :( He is on his first antibiotic ever and he is not sleeping like a normal human being. He refuses to sleep in his room. He can be dead asleep on the couch and the instant you lay him in his crib he wakes up and demands, "UP!" The mucus driven hacking cough is scary and I hope it goes away soon. He has been getting his slumber in the pack and play in the living room with a nonstop loop of Gabba playing in the background and an exhausted mommy, daddy, and grammy taking shifts on the couch. You don't realize how uncomfortable your couch is until you are trying to sleep on it. Here's to hoping for a healthy baby man in time for some Thanksgiving Parade Santa sighting and tree trimming next weekend. This should be a really fun holiday season for our family because Tommy will get it a whole lot better now...........it will be so sad if he is sick for it. We also have tickets for the North Pole Express for next Tuesday night which means it is crunch time to get the child some Christmas pajamas which is the common children's attire for this train ride, but I've been too sick and/or too dead tired to even think of stopping at the mall.

Hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving!

Nap

2010-11-21T09:07:00.001-05:00

Grady has been such a good boy lately. I think he knows I've been really sick. Right now he is protecting the sleeping Tommy in case he rolls off the couch in his sleep!

Private

2010-11-16T18:06:00.000-05:00

I did it. I went private. I HATE that. I like finding good blogs. I like having people find my blogs. But now I'm private nonetheless. A teacher's work is never done and at the end of the day, I don't want anyone associated with my teacher's work reading my blog. A letter was recently send out by the district about the implications of blogging (it was sent to staff and parents and was in reference to social networking as well). Because I've always felt like such a little fish I've never really worried about anyone I don't want to read actually reading, however, I thought about it...........annnnnd it's just not worth that small chance for me. At least not right now.

And where have I been on my excursion? Well, we'll put it this way. My head has been in the toilet.....literally. Congratulations are in order, we are expecting as of June 17- something else I wouldn't be ready to share yet if this was not now a private place. I found out on Columbus Day after Tom left for a week long business trip. I nearly died- how does one wait ALL WEEK to share this news?? Upon his return on Friday there was the most adorable toddler offspring sporting a 'Big Brother' shirt for his daddy to share the news. I've felt pregnancy symptoms a lot more drastically this time around. Mostly in the department of morning sickness which I have ALL THE TIME and which has resulted in actual throwing up on several occasions. I also don't want to eat much at all and was fine living on just Cheerios for the most part leaving me to worry about the new little babe's health and development. Not only is the new baby's health in jeopardy, but Tommy and my husband have also been affected as I cannot tell you the last time I cooked or felt well enough to even think of possible food to prepare and put on the table. I always joked that no matter my ailment I still would never miss a meal- I ate my way through my last pregnancy even when not feeling oh so hot......definitely not the case this time around. The first ultrasound is not until November 29 as we again decided against 1st trimester screening even though I thought that this time I would want it.

In other news Tommy has officially given me heart trauma as he ~~climbed~~ pathetically fell out of his crib. Thank GOD he was not hurt..........but I saw it on the monitor and I have to tell you- heavy drugs for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder may be in order. I panicked. I panicked big time. Tom turned the crib around so the high side is now face out and the low side is up against the wall. This seems to be throwing him off in the moment though he is quite pissed that where he used to be able to look out at his room, now he does so from what only resembles prison bars. I immediately spent $100 friggin dollars on 2 crib tents. One for our crib and one for my mother in law's crib. I PAID EXTRA to have them delivered asap. They arrived tonight, but because the crib turnaround has worked I'm going to keep them at bay for a week or so and see if they become necessary. If not I will gladly send them back....to have him then figure out how to fall out of the newly positioned crib I am sure. Listen, I'm just not ready for a toddler bed. That's it. End of it. We did buy big by bedding and big boy room decorations, but I'm hoping upon all hopes that we don't need it for a few months.

I can't promise to be a regular again now that I'm back for today, but it does feel good to be talking to you in this forum again. Thanks to those who inquired about where I went.

Happy Pumpkin Day

2010-10-31T16:44:00.001-04:00

Happy Non Napper!

2010-10-24T13:33:00.001-04:00

Tommy Houdini

2010-10-23T06:51:00.000-04:00

The child has taught himself how to escape. He learned how to pry off the doorknob safety things, open the foyer door, unlock the front door and open it...... If I put a chair in front of the foyer door it stops him for now, but it doesn't do much for the layout of the room. Any suggestions that don't involve installing ugly high up door latches????

The Only Picture

2010-10-18T21:50:00.000-04:00

of Tommy looking at the camera with the pumpkins....

The Great Pumpkin Day pt 2

2010-10-18T21:49:00.000-04:00

Arm around Daddy's neck......ohmyicaneathimup

Poorly maneauvered family shot.....

Busy Baby Man.........

The Great Pumpkin Day

2010-10-18T21:46:00.000-04:00

Ohhhh the tractor.......wrong way Mommy

The year of action shots.......this kid is not sitting still for anything

I can do it.........give me that

Don't judge a pumpkin by its.....herpes

Labor Day Wedding Shenanigans

2010-10-18T21:41:00.000-04:00

Labor Day weekend was all about this fabulous couples perfect wedding that I got to be a part of. Below is the only picture I have of th!e bride and groom taken at their rehearsal and one of many dumb and embarassing pictures of me and my good time. It was a really fun day and not one detail was subpar. The food was good, the cake was amazing, and the booze was readily available in every color. And the bride was out of a magazine beautiful. So, a late blog congrats is better than no blog congrats ;) Yay for Sarah and Danny!

Who doesn't need more Tommy in their life?

2010-10-11T08:25:00.001-04:00

Having an amazing holiday weekend
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtube_gdata_player&v=M5ky7yfLQjY

Holding On

2010-10-08T06:43:00.001-04:00

I've been hiding. Well, hiding if I had the time to hide- I really haven't had the time to be here, but if I did- I'd have been hiding. Even now there is a mountain of papers to correct that I finally outright refused to spend my evening doing after getting Tommy settled into bed. I've been hiding because everything.......EVERYTHING was spiraling out of control, everything that could go wrong was, and for awhile I wasn't sure if I was coming back. The vortex has calmed a tad- enough for me to catch my breath a bit, but I've seriously just been spending weeks in despair, anger, and mostly anxiety. I had jury duty this week and when being interviewed by the lawyers- well I guess you can't really say interviewed because they pretty much took one look at me and knew that I was not in a place to be on that jury. It took just a few sentences on my part and they looked at each other and dismissed me.

Where do I begin? How do I explain myself to you? You, many of who I read who have so many challenges in your life and continue to plow forward- live life always. You who can make the best of things even when your world is on the verge of ending. You who never complains about the littlest of things on your blog, but just uses it as a place to showcase your happiness and your pride of family. You who can write every single day and not once share something at all personal about your life.

My attitude has been going on for so long now that I can't even remember what actually started it. I do know that the most important is my son and most of this stretch has been filled with worry about him. He is just fine. He is PERFECT. He is a little delayed and just in need or maybe even not in need of a little push. He is stubborn and set in his ways like his momma. He has a little temper and his expressions are clear, always. He has new words- the first and most used is "Yea," but he has, "Do-ra," and "Nnnnn-ooooo." He is also trying really hard to say banana and with each attempt he gets closer and closer. If you pay attention you can hear a lot of, "What's this/that?" My boy is curious indeed. He goes to a toddler open gym class- I've missed all three classes and will probably miss the remainder of them. Coping with this reality is really difficult and I've reached the point many times where I've said let's sell the house and rent so that I could have a fighting chance to stay home for a little while and be with my baby.

We want him to have a sibling, but this is another piece of the vortex that hasn't gone so smoothly. I can certainly attribute that to the amount of stress I've been under and pressure that I put on myself. I also should attribute it to the fact that we really haven't been trying for too long, but still. WTF? This is all I will be saying about it- I'm not going to go on and on in posts about it, because when it does happen we won't be announcing it right off the bat like we did with Tommy. But, I needed to put it out there.

How do I conclude this piece without it sounding like I've cut it off just at the beginning? Right now there is no conclusion, only a mountain of work to tackle before I'm out the door again.

Farmer Tommy

2010-10-03T16:13:00.001-04:00

Football Day

2010-10-03T14:42:00.001-04:00

Let's go Jets!

Watching

2010-10-02T09:21:00.001-04:00

Watching dada mow-mow.

Love is in the Air

2010-09-25T16:24:00.001-04:00

Tommys first girlfriend is none other than Dora T. Explorer. His second learned word is Dora and he proclaims it proudly and with a large smile on his face.

Recently T ommy has also taken up opening doors. He breaks off the safety latch, turns the knob and....door open.

Daddy and Tommy

2010-09-25T11:05:00.001-04:00

On the farm

The Farm

2010-09-25T11:03:00.000-04:00

Tommy liked watching daddy do the apple picking.

I really do love Oprah, but......Come On!!!!

2010-09-24T16:08:00.000-04:00

An Upset Educator’s Letter to Oprah — ‘Ask teachers.’

Shopping

2010-09-19T12:59:00.001-04:00

This is how important Halloween costume shopping is to tommy

Mini Me

2010-09-18T10:19:00.002-04:00

Blogger in training

What a ham!!!!!

2010-09-18T08:50:00.001-04:00

Ready for a road trip to Long Island for his first family reunion.

Scotch-Brite Greener Clean Products

2010-09-13T21:42:00.001-04:00

Of the bag loads of swag I brought home from Blogher 10 I must share with you the joy of 3M and Scotch-Brite's new line of products which promise to help the environment, your cleaning enjoyment, and your wallet. I know what you are thinking- sponges? Really? Why? I am not being paid to say this. I am not getting anything out of this. I just wanted to share with you something I tried and I liked. I am not someone who goes out of their way to want to help the environment- for me that is just an added bonus of using this product line. It is made of natural materials and the packaging is made from recycled content. I like the durability. I like that even though it is a sponge I've been using for awhile it doesn't feel smelly or dirty or like it is withering as I use it. I like that it is gentle, but thorough for wiping surfaces and cleaning dishes or stuck-on pot messes. Because the product is durable and is not crumbly or stinky you can reuse and replace your overuse of paper towels. Give it a try! For more information about the Scotch-Brite Greener Clean products click here. Also, compliments of BlogHer attendees, check out these eco-cleaning tips. **The image shared above was downloaded from an e-mail I received from the company.

They Laughed and Laughed and Laughed

2010-09-13T21:27:00.000-04:00

After weeks of torturing myself and others with worst case scenarios and guilt and anger and resentment, Tommy attended his first day of 'daycare' today. He is spending Mondays with a teacher who has chosen to stay home and raise her two toddler boys. One of those boys is a few months younger than Tommy and one is a year-ish older than him. Tommy was immediately engaged when we got to their house and interested in their toys. Of course he barely noticed that I even left as he went off to find the playroom. I cried all the way to work. At lunchtime I turned on my phone to see a text message that things were going well. I called anyway and was happy to hear the boys were getting along so well and following each other around and copying off of each other. In particular, Tommy seems to get a kick out of the younger boy- apparently they chased each other around the kitchen island, each going a different way and trying to trick the other. When they would meet up they would just laugh and laugh and laugh together. He napped and ate. He played outside when the rain cleared up and went on a walk. With all of the testing and worries about testing (him) and spectrums (him) and mri's (me-whole other post I'm not sure I will write) you cannot imagine the relief that today went well. I had visions of tantrums where he wouldn't move on, biting, hitting, not fitting in, phone calls that I needed to get him- worst case scenarios and am delighted to report that my son proved me wrong (as well as embarrassed to report that I had such low expectations of him). I sense major progress in Tommy's social skills just from these weekly visits alone, never-mind the toddler music and movement class that my mom is going to be taking him to every Tuesday morning starting the end of the month. I am also hoping the ball for the birth to three support starts rolling a little quicker. His second evaluation isn't happening until September 24 so I don't see him receiving actual services until October.

Not napping

2010-09-12T13:58:00.001-04:00

Thank you big poop diaper of bad timing

Nemesis

2010-09-11T10:35:00.001-04:00

Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless

Story time

2010-09-10T20:17:00.002-04:00

Daddy and his boys

Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless

That Bed

2010-09-08T06:40:00.001-04:00

Last night Tommy woke up overnight. I changed him and brought him to bed with me and Tom. He laid right down in my arms and it was so peaceful and I just wanted to hold him there forever- protecting him and me from any assessments or labels or diagnoses. Right there he was just a little boy who loved his mommy and daddy. Then he sat up and watched us laying there- dead tired and he said a few words in Tommy language. It sounded like he was saying "Dada night night" and playing the game where he puts his hand on you and you pretend he woke you up. He smiled- he was so happy. I want him to always be that happy. I want to be happy- I will be happy, but right now it is a struggle because what I really want is to crawl into my bed - that bed- and stay there.

Qualified

2010-09-07T22:03:00.001-04:00

Today Tommy qualified for birth to three services with a special education teacher once a week.It was also recommended that he be tested by the ados I believe it is called- that is the spectrum and would qualify him for 15 hours a week. I feel a smidge of relief that now he will get help from people who know what they are doing and they will be able to help me help him. I also feel scared out of my mind that what if he doesn't grow out of this? It is weird to experience something I've been through as a teacher as a parent now and I'm not sure if that makes it easier or harder.

Dear Blog

2010-09-01T06:24:00.002-04:00

Dear Blog,

I'm back to school and I am overwhelmed and I miss you and I will be back and please don't forget about me.

One More Video - Music and Life - Alan Watts

2010-08-25T17:13:00.001-04:00

We also viewed this video called Music and Life by Alan Watts in our professional development. I thought- Wow, this is so true. What do you think????

Did You Know 4.0 and A Vision of K-12 Students Today

2010-08-25T17:02:00.004-04:00

We were shown this video, Did You Know 4.0, in our professional development today. Basically the point seemed to be that teachers of students in the 21st century need to be on board with technology and the way students of the 21st century will learn...... that they know how to entertain themselves with technology and we have to teach them how to teach themselves and find information using technology. What do you think?

We were also shown the video below called A Vision of K-12 Students Today, which I thought was somewhat depressing- teachers of the 21st century are really up against a lot of EXPENSIVE technology! Kind of scary what it will be like for Tommy when he goes to school. Again, what do you think?

Pathway to Healing

2010-08-25T07:30:00.000-04:00

It's not really bittersweet. I'm not sure what the word is- when you get someone you hate with a passion out of your life and someone you love back in it- and you wouldn't change that trade, not for anything. It was the right option- the only option. But in the mix you also have to say good-bye to someone little, someone innocent, someone who doesn't really understand except that they think you just left them or didn't love them. And having to say good-bye is a privilege, one that we didn't have and it plays on my conscience like a bad crime you accidentally committed and have to live with. What do you do with the pictures? The happy, smiling pictures of the little girl who will never grow in those frames- will always remain the same like a cartoon character. And what do you tell your baby who idolized her, who may or may not remember her in his mind, but either way will see these pictures and these videos and will read in the baby book that she was one of the first to hold him. How do you help yourself heal- and how do you help the one you love who must be aching beyond comprehension? Where is the pathway to healing?

Ahhh Summer...your days are numbered

2010-08-17T22:05:00.000-04:00

It is that time of year again. The time where the sun sets a little earlier and the crickets crick a little louder. When I start to regret vacations that went unplanned and trips to the beach that were too few. The time when I look at Tom with big, sad puppy dog eyes and whimper, "Do I have to?" And he instantly responds, "Yes." It's always hard to get back into the school routine, it's even harder now. Tommy is on the brink of a developmental explosion- I know it! The 'yea' epidemic has spread and today he started pointing at a bell in his picture book and exclaiming, "Ding! Ding!" Tonight he was pointing with PURPOSE in his picture book- pointing with ONE finger and because he wanted me to name said animal and make a noise associated with the animal. His favorite seems to be the donkey. Perhaps he is smarter than I thought and is really just trying to let me know he thinks I'm a jackass.

Tomorrow I head to my new classroom. A new classroom in a new school where I unloaded 16 boxes last week. A new classroom that will be filled with new students and new parents and a new beginning for me. One other new beginning is that Tommy will enter one day of daycare- the details are not ironed out yet but most likely it will be in home daycare with someone I know fairly well. It kills me to have to make this move- the money we work our asses off for going towards someone else getting to stay home with their kids and take care of mine as well. It just doesn't seem fair. All of those new milestones that we've worked so hard on and worried quite deeply about- they will be shared with a stranger. And then I think of what we will be paying for that one day and....how do people afford that full time? And with more than one child? It just doesn't make sense but it makes me all the more wish I was closer to home because I know that then I wouldn't even be faced with this decision.

Unfortunately, it just isn't in the cards right now. Our house seems to be worth less and less with every house that sells for nothing around here and the thought of going through re-certification in another state and the job hunt in such a competitive field where there aren't jobs right now anyway really makes the decision that we will be in Connecticut for longer than I recently thought. Luckily, besides the not being close to my family I do love it here. What is not to love? In this state we have great friends, great shopping, great beaches, great transportation, great schools- and the family, well they are just a short drive away. And do I really need anyone besides my baby and my hubby? The sadness I feel in getting ready to say good-bye when I head back to work reminds me that, no, I don't.

We've had such fun this summer- the three of us- and even more of the summer with just the two of us. We took countless walks and mowed the lawn about a zillion times. We explored new parks and the children's museum. We took a fantastic family vacation and our first major road trip. We spent very special time with Auntie Karen which sealed an important bond for Tommy that was long in the works. We partied. We had play dates and a weekend just for mommy. We laughed A LOT. This time was special and since I don't know if there will be any more summers with just me and Tommy I hate to let it go, but because there is no other choice and because there is often only bigger and better ahead... I guess it is time to move on.

We have a WORD!!!!!

2010-08-17T19:02:00.000-04:00

He primarily understands the word when you ask him if he wants a food that he wants- doesn't apply it to other questions, but we'll get there!

Beardsley Zoo

2010-08-14T22:38:00.002-04:00

Tommy's third trip to the Beardsley Zoo

This was taken just before I explained to him what will happen to that turkey in a few short months....


What we paid $9 each to get in and see....This means I can get approximately $12 per person to come to my house and see this: We have this fence in our backyard.....thinking of adding the cow as a lawn ornament to distract from how crappy it is.

Family Picture

Things my toddler doesn't understand #945794

2010-08-13T08:25:00.002-04:00

"I like changing your diaper about as much as you like having it changed."

He doesn't understand it literally, nor in the sarcastic context it was delivered in.

Why I Blog

2010-08-09T21:53:00.003-04:00

To sum up my love/hate thoughts of Blogher without getting into every last detail of my weekend I need to just review why I blog. I blog for support, for laughs, for camaraderie, for memories, sometimes for vanity, for friendship, for ideas, for fun.... I blog because I want to- not because anyone pays me to or because I want to be on Oprah or have the most hits. I blog because it is my hobby. That being said I went to Blogher hoping to meet other people who shared the same interest- people I've read and/or corresponded with over the last few years. I wanted to know them in real life and share this passion in person. I wanted to hear the voice behind the posts. I wanted to be friends. I did not get the impression that this was the agenda of the majority and that is okay but it is not what I expected. Would I be opposed to expanding my network and getting more readers? Absolutely not, but I would want to meet them and add them to my reader as well.

Meeting others who may have had the same agenda as me was difficult because the sessions were not conducive to interacting with other session attendees, they were set up so you could address the speakers. Also, having a writing lab and geek lab with sessions was a great idea, but the sessions I attended did not seat attendees at tables where they could easily be guided through a process or apply something that was being shared. In order to get as much bang for your buck there is a lot crammed into the conference agenda which doesn't leave time for mingling/networking after/before sessions. This leaves you with speed dating, which was totally nixed due to poor planning and meal time which I would have to say is my somewhat my fault. We did attempt to attend a 'Birds of a Feather' lunch group but gave up when we could not figure out where the hell this took place. I did not make an attempt to sit with anyone new and in fact looked forward to sitting at an empty table each time we went for a meal. I was TIRED.....and HUNGRY!!!!

Best part of the Conference:
The International Scholarship Recipients Keynote particularly because of the intelligence, courage, and wit of the creator of Mideast Youth
** I'm not sure why this transcript isn't up unless it is to protect the safety of the recipients, but you cannot appreciate how awesome this woman was without having been there or seeing the transcript. Hopefully it will be put up- I cannot say enough good things about it.

Favorite Session:
Little Fish In A Big Pond: Loving Your Small Blog

Favorite Voices of the Year Post Links:
Peaches and Coconuts
Tech4Mommies
The Bitchin Wives Club
Motherhood In NYC

Favorite Things To Do On This Trip:

Girl Stuff- going out, chatting until wee hours of the morning, dining out, etc with the coolest chicks at Blogher- Emily and Aimee
The Parties - In my real life I don't have a career and Tom doesn't have a career where we get to go to big, fancy parties. The parties we attended were AWESOME and not possible if I didn't attend this conference.
The Swag (See above Picture- and that is AFTER recycling what I didn't want) - I came home with some awesome free stuff. LG gave away free vacuums to all who attended one particular party and should be arriving here in 4-6 weeks. That alone pays for my ticket to the conference.
Other cool items came from

P & G - practical items that we use everyday such as Swiffer Duster, Febreze air freshener, toothpaste, vibrating toothbrush, PUR filter for our kitchen sink, Tide and Downy, L-Oreal anti aging eye massage thingy, Iams dog food samples
Eucerin- bag with several FULL bottles of their quality lotions
Playskool - Toy Story 3 Mr. Potato Head and huge Playdough activity pack

The Food- because, what else is new? I would say that if you go to Times Square you must eat at Victor's Cafe - yummmmmmm. And the Sangria? Out of this world! Also, you must indulge at Magnolia Bakery and I recommend the red velvet cupcake.

Would I Blogher again??? After day 1 the answer was Hell No. Day 2, on the other hand started to make a little more sense and because of all the fun and freedom that comes along with the conference I would definitely consider going with friends.

The A Word

2010-08-09T12:49:00.000-04:00

18 Month Stats

Weight: 30 lbs 12 oz

Height: 34 1/2 in

He is in the 95th percentile for both categories respectively.

I want to be funny. I want to turn this into a funny post about my child running around the doctor's office while we waited and trying to get into the doctor's special chair and drinking his bottle despite the 'no food or drink' sign and the penalties of the office fail of not having the TV on as they regularly do. I don't think that is where it will go. Today we discussed many, "Is your child doing this and that?" 's and the result is that we are being referred for birth to three services. The biggest concern seemed to be that Tommy doesn't have any words yet. I didn't sense that the doctor is overly worried, just maybe a tad concerned based on what he saw (or didn't see) in the short time he had with us. I'm okay with birth to three, I am. I'm hoping for someone to come in here who is very nice and very smart and an expert in the field. I'm desperately wanting that person to come in here and work with my baby a few times and say, "He's caught up! He's doing everything other children his age are doing AND MORE! We have a future brain surgeon on our hands!" Unfortunately I have a sinking sensation that those expectations are unrealistic.

The main concern is the speech. Other concerns are the delays he seems to have developing skills such as waving, blowing kisses, pretend play like taking care of his doll and talking on a phone.

I know it's probably wrong for me to say and that most likely it won't come to this, but I am scared of the A word. I don't want my child to have Autism. I don't want my child to be on the spectrum in any way. I don't want him to have learning disabilities or delays. That makes me feel guilty because I am a teacher and of course I've worked with all types of children and that is a great experience and they are all wonderful children. And then I feel like it is my fault- that I haven't stimulated him enough or paid enough attention or educated myself enough about teaching him and raising him. It feels awful right now.

And HE IS doing some things. He watches his dad mow the lawn and then he uses his kiddie lawn mower to "mow" outside. He checks out the car in the driveway- looks at the tires, the grill, the bumper, the license plate, the rims.... He points out clocks wherever we go and no fan goes unseen by him. He points at his cup when he wants it. He looks at the correct family members when you ask where is so and so. He claps hands (but doesn't know when or why to do it). He waves (but doesn't know when or why to do it). He knows what Auntie Karen wants when she asks for a kiss......but more often than not I'm noticing what younger children are doing that he is not and no one has ever noticed that he is doing something that their child is not.

I know this is selfish of me. I know I am most likely over reacting. I know other parents have had children that start out delayed and end up catching up and are just fine. I know there are other parents dealing with real problems and not just anticipated or possible problems. Thank God he is healthy and that is what is really important. I know, I know, I know, but I'm still scared.

Divas of NYC

2010-08-07T23:25:00.000-04:00

It is the final night of my first trip to Blogher. There is a lot of reflecting to do as well as debriefing. My first order of business is to reunite with my little family who lo and behold survived without me for four days with a little help from the extended family. What I will tell you right now is that I walk away from this experience with some new great friends - Mommas June Bugs and Great Expectations. And boy do they have style!

Blogher10 or Bust

2010-08-04T16:18:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow I am on my way to NYC for Blogher. On my own. Solo. Uno. Well until I meet up with my roommates anyway, but seriously this is the first time I will be away from Tommy for longer than a night. I feel like I should be screaming Freeeeeee and jumping up and down dancing around the living room to music I like to get the Yo Gabba Gabba tunes out of my head..... and there is some excitement about it, but mostly I just miss him.

In order to get as much out of this conference and me time as possible, I have devised a list intended to make me feel better and maybe even giggle.

1. Sleeping in. I have been blessed with a child that sleeps until 8 and plays in his crib until 8:30am almost every day (insert hatred towards me here), but there is something about sleeping in (or getting up early) based on my own timeline and not based on the wafting poopy diaper smell coming from the baby's room.....

2. Light packing. I can leave the hotel room without a diaper bag, bottle, extra bottles, baby food jars, extra outfits, snacks, toys, strollers, etc etc etc. Now I can focus on stuffing a giant suitcase with tons of clothes for me that either a) don't fit anymore and I won't know it until I am dressing and it's too late or b) I will not get around to wearing (it is that stuffed, I'm not kidding).

3. No time outs. Tommy's life as a free man is being cut down to dog years timing based on how much time he spends in time out these days. Because I am home with him all day I get to give the time outs- sometimes one right after the other. And I'm choosing my battles, believe me.....but I have to have some kind of standard, right? Who am I kidding I always appreciated a good bad boy...I'm a few time-outs from letting him go to town and then proudly displaying the "My kid beat up your honor student" bumper sticker......

4. Yo Gabba Who??? Four whole nights without the Yo Gabba Gang! And yet....I've already mentioned them twice in this one post. Who am I kidding, if Blogher sucks I'm off to the current city.

5. Free Stuff. I don't care what it is. No joke. Special feminine cleanser? I'm taking it. Having a kid is expensive and he is the one always getting the presents. What are the chances they are giving away free Droid X's?????

6. Parties that don't involve pin the tale on the donkey and fighting over toys with other toddlers putting me in a position to look like someone who knows how to parent their child.

This list, along with an awesome experience are what I am counting on to not only get me through the weekend, but allow me to enjoy the weekend. The pressure is on Blogher- I'm freaking giving up an episode of Jersey Shore for this!

The Real Housewives of _your town here

2010-08-02T14:19:00.003-04:00

Yesterday my sister introduced me to a show taped in her neck of the woods called "The Real Housewives of New Jersey." Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to make it sound like I know nothing of reality tv. I LOVE reality tv. Even unrealistic reality tv (ahem, Jersey Shore season 2 premiere Pauly D and Situation get their car stuck in the mud allowing for the opportunity to say AAA about a zillion times??? Reality?!?! Riiight.) Anyway, I just never got around to becoming addicted to this show, but I saw plenty of it yesterday and found it quite entertaining but misrepresenting nonetheless.

1. The show should replace the word Housewives in the title. It should be replaced with either Bitches, Crazies, Divas, or Trophy Wives. NO WAY should these women be called housewives. Housewives work their asses off. Housewives come from middle class. Housewives don't have pool boys or 7 carat engagement rings. Housewives also don't have thousands of dollars invested in their hair extensions that then get pulled out of their head by another batty non-housewife.

2. If a bunch of poor/middle class people are sitting around watching "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" what reality shows do the rich people watch about us lower lives? Do we need a show called The Real REAL housewives of ____your town here____? Oh wait, I know. They just watch Cops.

3. We seriously saw ten episodes in a row about above mentioned hair pulling incident. This leads me to believe there isn't anything exciting going on in their lives to use as material. I am convinced that if I had their money I would be able to come up with stuff to do and places to go that could make for phenomenally entertaining reality tv.

4. All I can really think about right now is Blogher and what to pack for Blogher and whycan'tIfitintomygoingoutclothes for Blogher. While some may see this as tacky and amateur, it is what it is. In my head when I booked Blogher back in the winter, I envisioned myself being 20 lbs lighter for this girls getaway, not close to 10 lbs heavier. So, if you meet me at Blogher, would you please excuse the poor wardrobe and picture me 25 lbs lighter? Thanks a LOT.

Glass Jar Update

2010-08-01T21:32:00.002-04:00

There have been several poops and several poop inspections of ridiculous detail and after many, "Are you sure he is okay, Tom" 's I think it is safe to say our boy is fine. Hopefully he will be done with baby food soon enough as I have high hopes for a Family Foodies session at Blogher and I will receive a break from this potential hazard.

New glass jar phobia

2010-07-30T12:39:00.002-04:00

Earlier today I attempted to feed Tommy some squash from the baby food jar of a well known company. I heard 'crunch crunch' and stupidly didn't think anything of it because he has been grinding his teeth. When I heard it again the little voice in my head shouted that something was wrong. It was a tiny piece of glass I pulled out you guys- tiny, but it cut my finger. I'm really hopeful that I got it all but not too optimistic since I heard him crunch it must have broken and maybe he swallowed some of it. I called the doctor and the nurse said they can't do an x-ray because glass won't show up and she wasn't overly worried about it because it should pass. However she warned that we should be on the look out for dark/bloody poop. After the phone call ended I went back to further inspect this jar and only after washing it out did I notice that the whole side (masked by the wrapper) and bottom of the jar were broken....no large pieces missing BUT STILL really freaking scary. How did I not notice this? I fed my baby from a jar that was a disaster waiting to happen. So upsetting and all we can do is wait :(

Note to Self

2010-07-30T11:44:00.004-04:00

If you are sitting outside by the pool on your vacation and you hear what can only be described as an explosion, think on the bright side. It probably isn't a nuclear attack or a psychotic with an automatic weapon on the loose. It most likely is the grill lighter that was left out by the grill in 90+ temperatures and reads "Danger. Extremely flammable. Contents under pressure." So after you grill kindly move your lighters indoors so you don't give a nice little mommy blogger a major coronary on her first vacation in three years. True story.

What they don't tell you # 194599398

2010-07-29T14:21:00.003-04:00

When you sign up for parenting they forget to tell you that when your child is one he may not like diaper changes....at all. He may just outright REFUSE to let you pick him up and bring him to the designated changing area. He may be okay with wearing a stinky, poopy diaper maybe even for the rest of his life, or at least that is what you are to believe when you resort to pure bribery to allow for a cleaning and changing. He may squirm, scream, screech, cry, etc and he may even run around stark naked and not care who is watching.

That Bites

2010-07-28T22:13:00.003-04:00

Today was an eye opening children's museum day. Tommy found his favorite- the ambulence- and not his favorite because he is partial to the field of medicine...it is his favorite because it has a steering wheel. Let me digress from the story for a moment. Baby man loves wheels- steering wheels, tires, fans, windmills, frisbees - anything round that can be used as a wheel he LOVES. He also loves lights and clocks. Anyway back to the ambulence. He drove that ambulence for miles and miles and miles and miles and by drove it I just mean he played with the wheel because the device is stationary and there are really no bells and whistles about it- not even a horn on the steering wheel. So he spun the wheel and spun it some more and some more for what was definitely LONG ENOUGH. Another child came along and eyed that ambulence in a way that tells me her love for it did resemble a passion for the field of medicine and not just an obsession with a steering wheel. I deemed it appropriate for some adult interference and told Tommy we had to take turns. He did the arms up in the air and drop to the floor thing and he has gotten mighty good and squirming his little body in weird contortions that make picking him up without injuring him near impossible. Added to the struggle between myself and my one year old........he sunk his *&%(&#((%$ teeth into my hand. Teeth marks, people. He has done this before, but more in response to teething and this was the first time he used biting violently in context. And my response....time out and the torture of me singing Yo Gabba "Don't, don't, don't bite your friends." What do I do???? He is one...I think he understands the crime....How do I teach him to make nice. I suddenly had visions of him being the kid that gets us kicked out of places, like permanently. Another habit of his that I don't know where to begin in correcting- he throws objects when he is done with them. Sippy cup not what he wanted? Chucks it onto the floor. More like pegs it. Done playing with a toy? Throws it. I know it seems like common sense. But I really don't know what to do.

On a lighter note (then again, maybe not) he still isn't really speaking any English words. On vacation he sounded as if he was asking for 'more' at dinner one night in context, but I haven't really heard it again since. Anyway he has his own language and on the beach the other morning he was quite socialable walking up to strangers and in his language I believe he was saying hello, but people his language sounds like German and the tone of his language sounds like shouting orders. Can we discuss the awdwardness of your child deciding he wants to hang out with complete strangers and go up to their mom and play with the kids AND their toys. I guess I should be proud of this and encourage friendliness, and I guess I am so NOT friendly because I want nothing to do with the uncomfortable forced niceness of the party he intrudes on.

If it smells like......

2010-07-28T11:25:00.002-04:00

This morning I took my on his way to terrible two's toddler outside to play. We have a wonderful fenced in back yard with soft grass and plenty room to play and run. Unfortunately, due to our mutant dog our backyard is also a mine field.....of poop. So instead of playing in the SAFE, FENCED in backyard we play in the front yard and battle over sidewalk/property/street boundaries. My son is obsessed with cars....so where does he want to play- THE STREET. Ever feel like fighting just to fight? Try to explain to my ONE YEAR OLD why he CANNOT PLAY IN THE STREET. And this yard? This yard that we paid to finish off the fencing in of?? Even with Tom's obsessive poop patrol upkeep- our yard is never free and clear. It all goes back to our poor carry over of the training Grady received in his TWO bouts of doggy training class. I knew it would bite me some day. That day was today when Tommy was playing in the front and asked to go to the backyard where Grady and Auntie were playing. Wouldn't you know we were back there for all of five minutes when I saw the poop hanging off T's sandle??? Yep- smooshed in there and packed in the bottom grippy crevices totally smelling up the joint. Now T's pair of everyday wear sandles have been scrubbed as best as can be and are sitting out hopefully drying off in time for our trip to the children's museum later. Yep, my kid is officially going to be the stinky kid.

Toy Box

2010-07-27T14:37:00.002-04:00

Finally! A place to store the mass toy bomb!

If you're gonna do it, do it right

2010-07-27T14:14:00.003-04:00

At first thought I was all- I don't need cards for Blogher. I just want to go for the experience- I'm a newbie anyway- it will be great to spend a weekend in NYC- and meet people. But on second thought....if you're gonna do something, do it right. So, thanks to Alison , here are my blogher cards. If all goes well at Blogher, you may seem some more changes around here. Excuse the x'ing on my name and e-mail. For some reason even though I publish my life to the Internet and take part in newspaper articles I am afraid to put my name so blatantly out there....

He's Lovin It!

2010-07-27T14:03:00.002-04:00

This morning Auntie Karen and I took Tommy to the beach and figured it was time to introduce him to the Great Golden Arches. When asked what kind of toy to include in the happy meal I said, "Boy," and then later remembered from my days of employment by R. McDonald that you can ask for a baby toy. Sadly, Tommy's first happy meal toy will be donated to my prize box at school because he is too young for the Iron Man boy he received and Mommy isn't really into the comics. Anyway he seemed to thoroughly enjoy his chicken nuggets/fries/milk meal even sans the toy. And yes I said I worked at McDonald's......when I was 16.....it was fun.....there were lots of cute boys there.....and a wonderful days off book where you would just sign up under any old date you needed off and it was no problem......that is all.

Happy Birthday!

2010-07-26T20:51:00.002-04:00

We've been so busy with 30th birthday partying around here that I haven't actually acknowledged hubby Tom's special milestone. It started on his actual birthday- Thursday. With Friday off, his best bud in town and my sister in town we got to go out for happy hour in lieu of the cake we would have had at home if he had to work the next day. Many of his friends met him out even though they had to work Friday and that was very nice of them. Friday was spent planning for Saturday's bbq b-day party at our house and with some of God's love and also some luck the storms held off on Saturday until late at night when the party was over. I asked Tom what the best part of his birthday was and like the great guy that he is he declared, "All of it!" For his big birthday he received a shed for the backyard- something he had been eyeing for a long time and has been a great sport about the fact that it is an all occasion gift that covers the next year or so.

And because I've been so busy I haven't been able to acknowledge the excitement and apprehension about this CT bloggy mom article that yours truly was FEATURED IN ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE PAPER!! Hello 5 minutes- please don't come back to bite me you know where. More to come.

The Bachelorette

2010-07-21T13:01:00.003-04:00

Last weekend I made my way into NYC to celebrate my friend's bachelorette party. After all of the hesitation and anxiety of being away from home for a night and partying until hours I haven't seen in several years, I had an outstanding time. The evening was filled with many firsts and only one last.

It started at a tapas bar in the Lower East Side called 1492. I have never done tapas before and typically stick to American and Italian cuisine with a little mix of Asian thrown into the mix, but I must say I did enjoy a) the garden setting with the white Christmas lights, b) THE SANGRIA- it had a hint of cinnamon to it which I've never experienced before in my Sangria and I have to say over and over again- YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM, c) the food was delicious. I usually enjoy a giant plate of carbs that is all to myself and leaves me feeling like I will explode and never fit in my clothes again and I would never opt for a place like this where you feel like you would eat like a bird- a bite of this and a bite of that...but I will tell you that I left feeling comfortably full and satisfied and I absolutely WOULD choose tapas bar in the future.

After dinner we headed to a bar/dancing place called The Delancey. The best part about this place was the rooftop bar and reserved lounge areas. It felt very hip and NYC to be sipping a martini on a roof in between two high rise apartment buildings. Downstairs had a dj and some fun party music for dancing but it was PACKED and there really wasn't much of a dance floor. Our group did scream bachelorette party with our bride wearing a sash and tiara and all of the bridesmaids/friends wearing name tags and this attracted some (freaking young) guys that were trying to mack it with the single ladies. Of course I am married and in love and have a baby and all of that is fine and I wouldn't trade it, but it was fun to be out and dressed up and party like a single girl (well as close to one as I'm ever going to get again anyway!!).

For our after hours pleasure....oh my God you guys....we went to Lucky Cheng's. Here is how much of a clueless ass I am- I thought it was a Chinese food restaurant and was all like YES let's go there immediately I would lovesomeNYCChinesefoodrightnow!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ummm perhaps they serve dinner earlier in the evening but by the time we got there it was just a drag queen karaoke session with some obscene balloon hats floating around. This is also somewhere I would NEVER go on my own accord, but I have to admit- it wasn't the complete disastrous stereotype I would have drawn up in my mind and we did have a really fun time there. One of the highlights- these two coked up looking pseudo Hollywood looking girls (non drag) that got up to perform and did a whole introduction of themselves first and how great they thought they were. Then they start singing and the head celeb wannabe totally went walking off the stage onto the tables that people were drinking (and had previously been eating) at. And the grand finale- she threw her arms up in the air of a low ceiling right into a very much turned on ceiling fan. WACK! and a wave of GASP was all you heard but it didn't seem to phase Miss Thang too much as the song ended and she made it back to the stage amidst some boos with her head and nose still WAY up there.

Lucky Cheng's was followed by 3am pizza which totally felt like college. The place was packed with young people satisfying their drunken cravings and calming their hangover urges. At this point it was too late for me to exit to Grand Central for a very early (very late??) train home much to my dismay. All of the - I have a child to take care of all day long on no sleep anxiety kicked in along with the I don't have any pj's or face wash or clean clothes or my own bed. I had no choice but to go back to my very understanding friend's apartment and nap on her luckily very comfy couch for a few hours until I could catch a cab to Grand Central and take a very early (7:07am) train home and transition back to the role of Mom.

All in all a fun time was had and it was full of many firsts that I can appreciate because you need to change life up once in awhile and I am one to get stuck in routine. The one last I mentioned was Harlem 125th. To get to my friend's awesome apartment in the ritzy Upper East Side of Manhattan it is much more conveniently close to get off the train at Harlem 125th and then catch a cab or subway to her house than it is to pass her house completely and get off at the more safe feeling touristy and police protected Grand Central. My husband (remember from the previous post- he escorted me in because I am such a wimp and afraid of getting lost- but what I did learn this time is that I am capable of getting in a cab and telling them where I need to go- I don't need no stinky and confusing subway!) and I got off at Harlem 125th and OMG you guys it was kind of ummmm scary. I truly truly didn't belong and maybe it was because it was hot out but it felt like EVERYONE from the neighborhood was outside and just looking at us like what are you doing here?!?!?!?! Totally not worth the saved 15-20 min.

Blogher Introductions

2010-07-21T12:45:00.003-04:00

This morning we met Aimee and Emily , my future Blogher roomies, and their beautiful and very well behaved children at a lovely park. The kids had a blast running through the sprinklers and fountains (my child was particularly fond of the mud puddles and sinkholes formed by the water attraction) and playing on the playground. The playdate proved overall successful even with my mom fail of epic proportions- I forgot his stroller of all things at home in our garage. This made lunch especially challenging though I did manage to bribe Tommy with some goldfish to sit on a towel and eat a few bites of sandwich before he wanted to get up and run away from me again. While I spent most of the time chasing after my little man I did get to enjoy snip its of adult conversation with people I feel like I knew already and couldn't wait to meet. And with all of the excitement and anticipation I was not prepared for the face to face nerves and instant but short lived shy moment where you just want to drop your child and hug and say, "Woo hoo! Here I am! So nice to meet you!" but instead you just kind of awkwardly stand there and calmly go through introductions and nice to meet yous. However, I am confident that our childless Blogher experience and conference will be a memorable one and may even include some of those hugs :)

Gym

2010-07-17T08:32:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I joined the gym for like the millionth time. You can not believe the anxiety and the conversation running through my head before making the commitment. I was all kinds of talking myself out of it- making deals with myself, practically begging myself not to go. I think I'm afraid I will fail and that I won't use the membership. After my half hour reintroduction to the old elliptical I did feel good and I did feel stronger. I'm hoping that this time around I will view the gym as me time and not torture. I also laughed at myself after the gym because guess what I did??? I went to Target and bought new Nike sport headphones for the machines annnnndddd.....I headed straight to McD's for a Mocha Frappe with whipped cream. However the difference is that I laughed- I didn't beat myself up, because I think overall what I want out of this is not the expectation of getting really skinny, but just doing something for myself and feeling stronger and healthier.

In other feel good news thanks to my Grampy my student loans are paid in full. It feels great to pay off a debt and know that this means extra money is around for Tommy (and us, of course).

Tonight I'm NYC bound to celebrate the end of singledom for a close friend who is marrying a terrific guy in September. And my terrific guy? He is riding into the city with me and hanging out by himself doing God knows what all night just so that I don't have to ride the train home at the wee hours with all the psychopaths. He is the best and I will have a drink or two in his honor tonight ;)

Grady Torture Video

2010-07-15T22:02:00.002-04:00

Hide and Seek Video

2010-07-15T21:47:00.004-04:00

This is what keeps me going and what makes me feel like a good mom. Tommy is obsessed with Hide and Seek. He likes to seek and doesn't really get the hide part. So I hide. Over and over and over in our small dining room. He runs into the living room and waits all of 15 seconds and I dive to a spot- behind the curtains, behind the high chair, behind the dining room table, under the dining room table, behind the hutch...very creative spots considering the small square footage of this room. The first time I hid behind the curtain it amazed me that he had no idea where I was. He was stuck on the hiding place we had done so far....behind the table. It did not occur to him that suddenly there was a HUGE MASS behind the curtain. Now, the amazing thing is that he runs over there to check first all based on experience....even when there is no HUGE MASS with feet sticking out of the bottom. I wonder when that cognitive piece of the search will snap into place. Anyway, he LOVES this game. Excuse the poor video taping, but I think you can get the picture of our game from it :) You can see him run off to the living room after he finds me because then we will do it all over again. Usually when he finds me there are lots of giggles and smiles from him but I think the camera threw him off a bit.

Vacation Smation

2010-07-15T07:57:00.003-04:00

Oh I so want to continue the vacation memory snapshots, but am afraid that ship has sailed. You guys, I have completely lost my mind and my memory. It's not the Outer Banks- it was beautiful, I know that. There was lots to do. The beach was pristine. The weather couldn't be more perfect. The rental house was a dream. I do have some terrific memories that were made. Unfortunately, it was impossible to enjoy it to the fullest extent or even to a normal extent.

Play it safe Ann shouldn't say anything. Play it safe Ann is going to again be quite vague and is still risking that someone will get very mad. There is someone in my life that I love deeply and care for immensely and they've been ruining their life and wasting their life for a very long time in a ridiculous cycle and once again it has all come to a head. A repeated pattern of pretend normalcy- pretend normalcy that the person has worked extremely hard to keep up - so hard I don't know how they are still going... and the person doesn't realize they fail and everyone can see through it....EVERYONE. And Oh my God the lies. The lies out of desperation to keep the pretend normalcy, but what the person doesn't realize is that the truth always comes out and people who know you get to the bottom of them on their own. It's not my life, but it is a life that affects mine and the lives of many others who care. This life on its own- away from the problem, the addiction,- is strong mentally and physically, compassionate, spontaneous, hilarious, as loyal as they come, as generous as they come, intelligent, beautiful - what more can you ask for in someone?

Being the person on the outside, the one watching, is devastating. Of course the person in it is suffering, but they get to hide out in their disillusion. For the outsider you live every day wondering- is this the day they will make the change? Is this the day I get this person back? Is this the day the person will start living and find true happiness? Can anyone relate to my vagueness?

Outer Banks Memories Snapshot # 1

2010-07-11T16:36:00.003-04:00

Since I'm not sure when I will have the time to write a trip wrap up for you and the memories come and go in waves anyway I will try to include some snapshots of the best parts of vacation.

Snapshot # 1 - Tommy's first word

While 'Mama' has been heard more and more and more around these parts and each time he says it I feel more confident that he may actually be referring to me, I consider his first word to have been stated over the vacation. Drumroll........Tommy's first word was, "More!" And guess what he wanted more of???? C'mon, he is my child. He was being fed dinner and he in between bites he asked for more! It was not a clear cut regular murmuring of the word, but it is DEFINITELY what he was trying to say and he was DEFINITELY using it in context. I wish I could remember what the meal was that incited his use of the word, but sadly I don't nor do I think it was anything special or particular. Lil' Man was just HUNGRY!

Nags Head Vacation Album

2010-07-11T12:19:00.000-04:00

We're baaaaaaaack. We all have post-vacation depression and are working on returning to normalcy around here.

Procrastination Tagging

2010-07-01T14:21:00.005-04:00

I've been tagged by McCashew. Because I am stressing over packing and am practically buried under piles that have formed in each and every room of my house- I'm not kidding, and if I had a Smart Phone I'd show you so you could share the horror but I don't and I'm not doing the whole locate camera and camera wire and hook it up to the computer thing right now bahhhhhhh where was I.....Because I am stressing over packing I am welcoming this very little, but cute procrastinator!

This picture was chosen at random and is the 8th photo in the 8th folder in my pictures folder. It is of Tommy one day shy of turning ten months old in front of his first Christmas tree. This was when we were still doing monthly pictures with the dog which stopped after he turned one- I'm not sure why but it did need to stop at some point because I'm pretty sure my one day sixteen year old would never stand in front of his first car (wait, make that eighteen year old....twenty year old...) with his stuffed dog. Anyway I love the picture because it will always remind me of Tommy's first Christmas season and all of the special activities we partook in- exhibit a in the picture- his first Christmas photo shoot.

And now I am supposed to tag 8 bloggy friends to complete the same assignment. May it help you procrastinate something you are dreading! Remember: 8th picture from the 8th folder and tag 8 people.

Sara - my bloggy and prego buddy (past, not current!!) bff

Julie - you should be blogging more and I want to be reminded what a childless/dogless person takes pictures of

Alison - your blog is private but I know me and your readers love your stories and pictures!

Peggy aka LFM - I've enjoyed reading about you and Tommy still snuggles with the blanket we won that brightened up a crummy day back when

Mandy - Where have you been?!?! Luckily I have no more horrid neighbor stories to exchange with you.

Annnnd I need to branch out because I think all my other bloggy friends have been tagged already.

Tommy's Bear

2010-06-30T08:36:00.000-04:00

Fisher-Price Baby's First Bear - Fisher-Price - Toys "R" Us

Tommy received this bear awhile ago, but only realized his love and need for it Mother's Day weekend. I immediately started calling him 'Dolly Bear.' Tom is not a fan of this name at all. Him and my brother came up with the name 'Killer Bear.' Your vote????

Holy red!

2010-06-29T15:31:00.002-04:00

It has been humid humid humid here this week. Today I attempted to put off nap time for what resulted in a little too long. It was after lunch and I thought we needed to take advantage of the sun and get outside into the kiddy pool. I figured a nap could wait another hour. I set up the pool and water table. I took out all the toys. I decided to use an almost empty can of spray sunblock and I tried the glue stick looking face sunblock for the first time today since Tommy's eyes became seriously irritated over the weekend from spray sunblock applied to his face with my hands. Well- after about a half hour I looked at my baby as he tiredly stumbled around the yard and noticed TOMATO RED arms, cheeks and ears. Now, I've experienced this before- that the baby gets red in the sun even though he isn't burning. But- he looked much more red than in the past and of course I was wondering about the glue stick face sunblock since I never used that before and the fact that the spray block was on its last limb had me wondering if there was any block left in the mix of stuff I was spraying on the babe. When I made the executive decision that we weren't going to chance making a burn worse and picked up Tommy all hell really broke loose. He was PISSED and screamed so loudly I can only imagine what the neighbors would think if our houses weren't so damn close together that they can see with their own eyes anyway. Tommy had dirt on him and I wanted to rinse some of the sun block off so I put him in the tub which he also was opposed too. He screamed and screamed and as a result he got redder and redder and hotter and hotter and I was more convinced than ever that I burnt my baby to a crisp. Well all hysteria aside it is now a few hours later and I am relieved to report he is in fact not burned but has just once again proven that he is so fair skinned that he just turns red in the sun/heat and it is not because he is burning. 55 proof sunblock really does continue to work!!!! PHEW!

Just to take the attention off my own insanity and glare it on another member of this household I must share a story about our Grady. Today I was watching him in the yard from outside and all of a sudden I saw him make a break for the gate. His hair went up and he was growling/snarling/barking ferociously at something. He was doing a Tigger type jump straight up into the air when I saw a dog treat fly in his direction. He caught it and munched it up and then proceeded to carry on like a wild animal. And who might the dog treat sharer be? Well, our friendly postal lady of course! Tom told me she shares this moment with the dog every time she delivers to us and the dog behaves the same way each time, but I have to admit I thought it an exaggeration. Why would she continue to be nice to a dog that can't even give a few licks and wags of his tail and to a dog of a family that may or may not have provided the postal worker with a Christmas tip (hey....in our defense we don't consistently have the same mail delivery person)?