Alyssa's 'Birth' Day

Dear Alyssa,

Wow!  How could you possibly be over a week old already?  9 days to be exact.  As you know from mommy's previous entries, we waited and waited and waited for your arrival.  You have already made it clear that besides your identical to Tommy precious newborn face with the upturned button nose, round chin, and the pinchable cheeks, you are your own little lady.

It was June 19....FATHER'S DAY, two days after your 'due' date and approximately three weeks after the due date Mommy assumed would be yours.  I woke up around 3 am just because when you are waiting for a baby and wondering about a baby you tend to not be able to sleep like a baby at night.  I had had a dream about delivering you, but other than that there was nothing unusual about the night.

 Around 4am I started to feel very very minimal contractions.  They felt like the false labor contractions I had had weeks before......like nothing.....a nothing that if they continued consistently and started to get painful could become something.  Just as soon as I turned to your father and said today might be the day, the 'contractions' stopped coming and when your father asked if we should cancel the family Father's Day bbq we had planned I said no.

Around 5ish am your brother Tommy came into our room....another non-unusual morning event at the time.  He got into the bed and laid next to me and daddy and we snuggled and were a family of three for the last time though we still didn't know it, but I have to admit I did soak in the moment and looked at Tommy a little longer and hugged him a little harder and talked to him a little more while he went back to sleep.

At 6am 'ish' I felt very sudden and very strong contractions, but I still was not convinced they were contractions.  Contractions were supposed to be timed.  Contractions were supposed to progress......like over the course of a whole day, or something.  These could not be contractions- they could only be indications that something was wrong.  A trip to the bathroom confirmed there was blood where I didn't think there should be (turns out, what do I know, when you are having a baby there is tons of blood....duh) so I put in a call to the doctor's answering service.  Daddy started to get ready to leave the house including taking a shower while I felt like death was seriously seriously upon me and I swooped into the guest room where Auntie Karen was sleeping and woke her with moans and swears and cries and then proceeded to collapse into her bed and ask her to help me get dressed for the hospital.....because when you think you are going to die you want to at least be in something you might wear around the house during the day.  I had already somehow applied some make-up on my own after scaring the ever loving jokester out of your Uncle Mike by telling him I could be in labor or dieing (he was sleeping on the couch that night.)  Auntie was timing my 'contractions' and they were 3 minutes apart which if I hadn't been in somuchpainIthoughtIwasdieing I would have realized meant this baby is coming and she means business.  When the doctor called back I cried into the phone and could barely talk and mentioned that oh yea there was blood and three minutes and she recommended we get the the hospital like we were considering any other action at that point.  Saying good-bye to Tommy was harder than I thought it would be.  I was scared.

Oh my, Alyssa, the ride to the hospital. It was like something out of an action movie.  Daddy went fast and with every pot hole he hit I thought you might enter into the world.  For.  Reals.  There was one point on the ride to the hospital where I thought you were coming and another point on the wheelchair ride from the ER to the labor and delivery floor.  We got to labor and delivery around 7am where they managed to have me sign some papers even though I could barely stand and then they wheeled me into a room and helped me into a gown.  They took one look and the nurses then looked at each other and I swear their expressions could only be described as horrified.  I screamed for an epidural and they then told me what I did. not. want. to. hear.  I was fully dilated and they could already see you were ready to be delivered.  No epidural.  No doctor....well there was a house doctor, but there was not enough time for Mommy's doctor to get to the hospital.  There was barely enough time to get an IV into me- I was so sweaty from all the pain it took great efforts to accomplish that.  With maybe 2 reluctant pushes and lots of screaming and crying by your mommy you were born at 7:35am.  You cried and cried and cried and just after you were born Mommy's doctor showed up to finish the rest of the labor.  One thing about not being on the epidural (besides the gut wrenching pain) was that I really saw you when you were first delivered.  I was sitting up and you were handed to me right away and I got to watch your face change second to second from a squished through the birth canal face to a beautiful, perfect, Gerber baby face.

The first few nights were difficult.  But our second night home it all clicked into place for you.  You've gotten into a fabulous eat, sleep, eat, sleep routine and I hope I'm not jinxing it, but even without the lethargy from jaundice that your brother had you seem to still be an easy going baby.  We are so blessed.  We love you and your brother so so so much.

Love,
Mommy